Blogpost 2: Fear of Being Rejected

Alone? Yes we don't want to be alone even though you can say to others that it's okay to be alone but you know to yourself that you don't want to be a loner. We want to have friends that will entertain you, listen to you, help you, love you and most of all to be with you when you are in the darkness days of your life. All of us are afraid of being rejected because it can affect ourselves. One situation is when we are at school, like it's the first day of the class and you don't know each other then you want to make friends with him/her but suddenly your mind is reacting if you will be rejected that will cause you to stop or having doubts to talk to your classmates. The other thing is about love. Commonly, the boys are the most who got rejected if courting someone because I know the feeling that when you exert all your efforts to it and when the girl decline to your proposal, it is really annoying but deep inside it is a scar to us. Let's not be sad of this thing, just think that she lost someone who really loves her.

Being rejected is one of the intense fears that we have because we can feel the hurt or pain that have an impact to us. Psychologically, we are afraid of how the person will react to us. I have read an articled entitled Deconstructing the Fear of Rejection: What are we really afraid of? by John Amodeo from the website www.psychcentral.com. He discussed about the feeling of being rejected.

Rejection is common in our society now, even about jobs, love, friendship, social networking and many more so that's why it became a intense fears of humans. We're afraid of having our image seen in a bad way. We are worried of being alone and we want a change in our life. Sometimes, when we got rejected by someone, we think about ourselves that we're not funny, enjoyable, worthy, not lovable or intended to be alone. But it doesn't mean that we're a failure already. This is the one step for us to be more better. Everybody can change. Face this fear, because this is a part of our challenges too. Don't stop because you got rejected, be strong and say to yourself that I can't be like this forever, I will change and I will be better! Another problem in our world right now is in our society. Yes, we fear of being rejected because of the people itself too. Why? Because many people are choosy or picky right now. If they don't want your attitude, image or background, they will not take an action to become friends with you. That's the problem in our world now, I mean yes, we must not make friends with bad people, but innocent people? That's not the same. Even though they don't have the quality we want, what's the matter? Did you know him/her already deeply? No right? So why do we choose? If we're all equal.

John Amodeo said to his article that "Being human, we long to be accepted and wanted" Everybody wants to be accepted and wanted. We're all humans and we are equal. If we can't accept the others, that means we can't accept ourselves too. And for those people who always rejects people intentionally, someday you will know the feeling of it and you can say to yourself that I regret rejecting people already.

The second article I've read entitled How to deal with Rejection by Dr. Carmen Harra from the website www.huffingtonpost.com. She discussed about how we can face our fear of rejection.

Rejecting something can sometimes happen everyday. Like rejecting the food that it served already, the clothes that are prepared to us, the transportation that we will ride on and most especially the beggars that we are passing by when we are walking. Being rejected is an ferocious or direct attack in the heart already. And that's why we accuse ourselves that there's something bad or wrong to us and we think about why we are being rejected. Rejection is most common in love. But the funny thing is, why in love even we're rejected, we still don't give up (sometimes) but when it comes to the other situations already, we easily give up. I hope all the situations that we're being rejected, let's think about love and never give up. Let's not take it so personally. If we don't have an emotions about it, their rejection is nonsense to us and we can't learn from that fear.

Dr. Carmen Harra said to her article that "Rejection offers us an opportunity to evolve through and learn from our experiences." This means that let's not be afraid of rejection. Rejection can be the way for us to change. It gives us the opportunity to be a better us and this will be path for us not to be rejected again.

We're afraid of what might people will think of us if we talk to them. But whatever it is, we must try no matter happens. If you got rejected, stay strong and let this lead you to success.

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Blogpost 1: Different Fears We All Lived By

Fear is like a flying cockroach is approaching to you, and suddenly you run and when you came back, it's not already there then you're just sitting in your bed waiting for the cockroach to be visible again and kill it so that you can sleep already.

So yes, fear is a retaliation or response to physical and emotional danger.Imagine a world with no lights and just darkness, can we live in a world like that? Maybe yes, but it's more to no. This is also happening to reality too. Just pass on a dark place, there's a fear factor that will occur and I know you're thinking that maybe some snatcher, killer, or something that will do bad things to you will appear. Psychologically, we're not scared of the darkness but we're scared of what's inside it.

I have read an article entitled The (Only) Five Basic Fears We All Live By by Karl Albrecht from the website www.psychologytoday.com. There he discussed the only five basic fears that most of us produce. And this five basic fears are:



Extinction- This is what we called the fear of death (Thanatophobia) or being eliminated in the world.It is equitable to say that many of us are afraid of dying, maybe we will be dead from now or near in the future but who knows, none of us doesn't know when are we going to die. Many of us humans are scared to die because they still want to do many things and explore in their lives. 

Mutilation- This is where the one part or organ of the body is needed to be remove or to stop functioning. Most of us are afraid of seeing our organs being remove because we're imagining things like what will happen if one part of our body is missing and would it still be normal? It's also related to extinction because mutilation can sometimes failed if not properly processed and can cause you to death. 

Loss of Autonomy- This is the fear of having your freedom disappear or something that will not let you escape. Examples of this are if you have been paralyzed, can you still do the things that normal person can? And if you are imprisoned, would you still be able to be free from it? Freedom is given to us to enjoy our life for the right thing, without freedom we cannot explore the world.

Seperation- This is the fear of being abandoned by someone or loss of connections. This is the most common fear that most of us are afraid of. It's just like when your partner broke up with you even though you still love him/her. Honestly, many of us doesn't like to be alone or seperated with others because we know that they need us, and we need them too.

Ego-death- This is the fear of embarassment. A fear of being humiliated by somebody that will let your dignity goes to shame. This can cause you to be bullied because your image is already down and example of this is when you're in the class and your classmates is having fun with you. I mean no one likes to be disrespected. It is painful for the people who are experiencing this because you can't obtain the equality that you want. 

Karl Albrecht said that "fear, like all other emotions, is basically information. It offers us knowledge and understanding - if we choose to accept it - of our psychobiological status". It means that when we're afraid of something, we must face it and learn from what's inside of it. Any fears that we have in life, let it be our guide through light. 

The second article I have read entitled Common Childhood Fears by Lesley Jamison from the website www.cpancf.com discussed about what are the common fears of children.

We are already adults now. But when we think about our childhood life, we can remember something that scares us. Like when the thunderstorm is so strong that you close your eyes and hold your ears so that you can't hear the sound of it. Another example is about our fear in ghost. Yes, this might be the common fear that we're scared of because we watch television and the genre is horror then ofcourse, we're still young and our mind is still exploring or learning things. Also, we can encounter fear when we are potty training because we're scared of what might happen to us and that's true. The imagination of a children is expanding at the age of 3 and 4 years. Commonly in this years, children are scared of mascot, masks, animals, sounds and etc. This years of childhood are the state of confusion about the fantasy and reality that makes them fear of something. 

Lesley Jamison said to his article that "Not all children will experience all the fears within their age level" That's true because for me, the fears of the children depends on their parents. Example is, they will not be scared of ghost if they still not allowed their children to view some horror movies in an early age or if they not tell a story about it. 

We have many different fears in life, but we encountered this because of our negative thoughts about something, imagining and overthinking. But the most important thing is you must know that the only fear we must fear of is the sin. Because sin can change you and your life, but thoughts are just an illusion.

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